first step

...i failed to keep away from my blog. i have an important excuse but i cannot share it.

why is it always hard to make the first step?
it's not pride...it's something else
or maybe it is...partly...and partly...
it is fear...of rejection
even if it seems to be the least possible to happen...
it's guilt and condemnation

why is it always hard to do the things you know you must do?
even when you're fully aware it is the only, the right and the best thing to do...
deciding to do it will never be enough
i know, but...


my officemate just told me i'm "shit"...
he may mean it as a joke, but
i feel like one...