convictions

"Just hang in there! Sometimes it's not what we know that matters, it's what our heart tells us. Follow your convictions...His Spirit will enable you. Believe in Him!"
...another advice i got from ronald last night.

convictions...i remember leaving my previous job because of it. it felt good. i felt brave. i felt free. only to bump against the four walls of a new territory that's slowly closing in on me. a period of adjustment at first --- shock, catching-up, paranoia, reminiscence, yearning. now i'm beginning to feel at home and relaxed. i'm definitely enjoying the most out of it but somehow, in the deepest part of me, i can feel a tiny resistance. it had kept me leashed, although almost thread-bare already. so i guess i still have them...convictions. but most of the time i push them away, kept them for future use. i can surely say i could use them right now. i just wish i have the heart to put them out again.